List of Things I Try Not to Notice During Dinner

Picking out earwax with the handle of a spoon and wiping it on hand, pantleg, or sometimes the blanket that goes over the bench we sit on. 

Audible chewing and swallowing that makes me feel like I’m swimming around in their mouths

Opening of mouth to allow chunks of food they don’t want to swallow to fall to the floor, and then continuing to eat.

Cat who sits about 4 inches away from me on the bench and meows into my face while I eat.

Hoards of flies collecting on the table, plates of food, the filthy rag in the middle of the table everyone shares for a napkin but is also used to wipe the table and dry dishes.

My host dad (no joke) snot rocketing onto the floor in the middle of dinner.

A note about snot-rocketing.  It seems to be 100% normal to do in public.  For example, I was walking into town today and I passed a guy sitting outside a store.  As always, I greeted him and asked how he was.  He didn’t say anything.  When I looked closer, I realized he had just snot rocketed and had a gigantic clump of nasty hanging out his nose and he was waiting for it to disconnect from his face and fall to the ground.  


Charmed, I’m sure.